Posted to Facebook by a friend. I would credit the original author but it’s been around awhile and I don’t know who it was. It’s rather Steven Wright-ish.
Frankly, it could have been me . . . or you.
- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 times and still not know what time it is.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- ?I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
- I’m always slightly terrified when I quit Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Coors Light.
- I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
- ?I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
- ?I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
- The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in hockey in 1874; the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important?
{ 0 comments }
