Rants

Bad-vertising

February 21, 2014

I am planning a series of posts about stupid photos taken by real estate agents and actually posted to their local MLS, supposedly in furtherance of their intention to sell a home. I know they were taken by agents because professional photographers certainly wouldn’t allow such trash to sully their equipment.

I’m not the only one to post the photos – some call them Bad Real Estate Photos or Bad MLS Photos. I am trying to be original and coin the term “Badvertising.” ( I haven’t Googled it yet, so it’s at least original to me.)

What won’t be original to me in some cases are the snarky captions. While the photos come from a variety of sources (submissions from you are gladly acknowledged!), one of the best is terriblerealestateagentphotographs, which is anonymous, and his/her captions are understated but hilarious and hard to improve on.

Today’s examples are all potty humor, a topic to which I am sure we will return over and over:

Never miss a delivery because you were on the toilet again.

Never miss a delivery because you were on the toilet again! 

Potential buyers have a choice: erect a divider, or own the largest and most inconveniently arranged bathroom on the planet.

 Potential buyers have a choice: erect a divider, or own the most inconveniently arranged bathroom on the planet.

The judges prepare to take their places for one of the more unusual events at this year’s Winter Olympics.

 The judges prepare to take their places for one of the more unusual events at this year’s Winter Olympics.

I hope you weren’t drinking coffee or something. Clean up your device and next time be prepared.

{ 0 comments }

Fun in Ocean City

February 19, 2014

KitchenSaverSo, a whole week in Ocean City! Sun, sand, surf . . . uh, no.

I’m helping Ken from KitchenSaver reface the cabinets. Actually, rebuild them, considering all the extra work being done. And I’m not really helping, just being here to answer questions and sort through the inevitable problems as they arise.

For instance, what to do with the pipes that weren’t supposed to be where they are? We closed off one cabinet that was unreachable from the kitchen and planned to open the back of it from the other side of the counter, only to find that the pipes to the sink come in from the OUTSIDE wall through the counter space behind the cabinet. Thus we have, in the middle of the new opening, a set of PVC pipes just itchin’ for a nickin’.

HoleThis photo was taken AFTER he carefully cut out the 2×6 the pipes ran through, which would have also inhibited the cabinet access.

Then, the under cabinet lighting the electrician was planning to install was not the under cabinet lighting everyone else was expecting. Thus we had to figure a workaround to incorporate the new lighting. Fortunately, Ken has seen just about everything and can figure out what to do.

Yesterday, after Ken finished his workday, I got to do the “fun” stuff! If you’ve ever removed a “popcorn” ceiling – yeah, you know what I’m talking about – you know how much “fun” it can be. It’s easy. Just wet the ceiling with a water sprayer, then take a large drywall knife (6-8” putty knife) and scrape it down to the drywall! Comes right off . . . all over everything, including you. Or in this case, me. And the new floor. And the new kitchen counter.

Now, I’m no dummy. I covered everything with plastic before I started, and I held up a trashcan with one hand while I scraped with the other. Even so, it fell on me, and of course I walked in whatever missed the trashcan. I left white marks everywhere I walked. Even though it doesn’t stain, I hope we can clean it all off the new floor before Janet sees it.

After that, I got to install two corbels under the new counter. We (meaning I) had not expected to need these, but my recollection of the counter width I had ordered was not exactly in accord with reality. Thus instead of a 5” overhang on a 16” counter, I have a 9” overhang on an 18” counter. It’s all good – except if one intends to lean on said overhang, one better dang sight have something underneath it.

corbel

So with Loctite Power Grab Construction Adhesive, my trusty drill and some 3½ inch screws, I set forth on my next adventure. The Power Grab was for the underside of the counter. Ordinarily when one installs corbels, they go on before the counter and use keyhole screws in the back. But these had to be screwed in from the front, so the Power Grab was insurance. I predrilled holes in the corbels, attached them to the bar and underside of the counter with Power Grab, then started screwing them in . . . when the phone rang. Naturally it was a client. Always at a critical moment. I decided it would be best to let it go to voicemail.

I finished screwing them in (to studs of course) and they look pretty good. I have to fill in the screwheads with some caulk and do a little touchup, but they look great and not too obtrusive. More importantly, the counter won’t fall into anyone’s lap.

 

 

{ 0 comments }

Capt-Grammar

Captain Grammar here with a reminder . . . don’t disobey or the paddle comes out.

grammarpaddle

{ 2 comments }

Renaming the Parkways (?)

February 21, 2012

And renumbering them, as well. The Fairfax County Parkway (Rt 7100), and it’s offshoot the Franconia-Springfield Parkway (Rt 7900) will be renamed and renumbered this Spring. This is one result of converting the roads from “secondary” to “primary” roads so that they can receive additional funding for paving, guardrail and bridge improvements among other things. […]

Read the full article →

Pull Up, Dammit

December 16, 2011

[rant] OK, so you are coming up to a traffic light and you want to get in the turn lane, which is empty. In front of you are four cars waiting in the through lane. Each of the last three cars has left over 20 feet of empty space between them and the car in […]

Read the full article →