I can’t sleep. I can’t think clearly. Is this a heart attack? Is something wrong with me? I look at my hands. They’re trembling. I look at my skin. I swear it looks purple. Am I losing oxygen? What’s wrong with me? I’m happy. I’m not depressed. So this can’t be mental. This must be physical. I must be dying. I’m too young to die. But crazy things happen to young people every day. They get embolisms. They get aneurysms. They have underlying cardiac issues that they never knew about until it was too late. What if I’m one of them?

This is what it’s like to have a panic attack.

I was 18 when I was first diagnosed, but the diagnosis came months after I had started struggling to drive over 50 miles an hour on the freeway- terrified that something would happen. Months after my college roommate would sit across from me at lunch and say, “Sarah, why are you shaking?” Months after I would avoid places like movie theaters because when it got dark and quiet, I could feel my heartbeat and would think it was abnormal.

First off, I’m not a doctor. I’m not a psychologist. And this is not medical advice. But it is a personal account that I’m ready to share in hopes of helping even just one person who felt like me. Alone, afraid, and confused.

It was 2004. I was a freshman in college. In the past year, my parents had went through a messy divorce (because, well, most divorces are messy). I was starting a new chapter. I was three hours from the town I grew up in. The house I grew up in was sold. I was meeting new people. I was learning how to manage time and money. I was coming into my own after a very emotionally draining year. But don’t get me wrong, I loved this chapter. I was excited and ready for it. I was doing well. My grades were solid. I was lucky enough to go to college with three of my best friends. So I still had a support system three hours from 我把护士日出水了视频90分钟. My college roommate was this incredible, upbeat, happy-go-lucky soul. We laughed every day. So it didn’t make sense to me that my happy mind would be behind these negative things that started happening to my body.

The symptoms came on slowly at first. Trouble sleeping. So I took Tylenol PM. But as I used that, I thought it was making my heart race. (Maybe it was, I don’t know for sure.) But I remember becoming very cognizant of my heartbeat.

It sounds so silly. How could feeling your heartbeat terrify you? It should be comforting, right? Instead, my heartbeat became my enemy. I would question if it was normal. I’d lie in bed thinking it seemed out of rhythm.

Sleepless nights turned into anxious days. I was trying to balance all of these new changes and tougher course work with a brain that was tired and frazzled. I’d feel a tightness in my chest that made it tough to breathe deeply. I struggled for air. My leg would tap uncontrollably in class. There was just so much anxious energy in me and I wasn’t understanding the cause of it. Again, I thought, “Something must be wrong with me.”

It would’ve made sense, right, if I had these symptoms while being in the middle of that nasty divorce? If I was sad, and angry, and anxious at a time of obvious turmoil.

But that’s where Panic Disorder gets you. It waits until all that has calmed down. It waits until your body has been worn down. Then it sneaks in, right as you think everything is okay. It tries to break the bond between your mind and your body. It wants your mind to question your physical well-being. It wants you to think you’re either dying or crazy.

Everything came to a head when I was back 我把护士日出水了视频90分钟 for Christmas break. I came “我把护士日出水了视频90分钟” and stayed at my dad’s new house. Night after night, I’d lie awake down on the couch until 4 or 5 a.m. Until the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds, and my body was promised that I’d made it through another dark, terrifying night.

But one night, I became so convinced there was something wrong, I woke up my dad and we went to the emergency room.

Now here’s the thing, any health care professional who is willing to take the time to ask the right questions should have realized that this 18-year-old female is having a panic attack. Instead, after an EKG and few questions, I left with a big bill and a diagnosis of “chest wall pain.”

Our emergency rooms need to be better prepared and better equipped to recognize and handle mental health issues.

Instead, it wasn’t until several more panic attacks that I went to a general practitioner who diagnosed me. All of a sudden, it all made sense. I could now read accounts of people who felt the same, experienced the same, and suddenly I wasn’t alone.

I was on a new path. One to wellness, acceptance, and the hope that I’d “be my old self again.”

For me, what helped was learning everything I could so I could start to understand what would bring on the panic attacks and what I could do to combat them. At that time, I started on Prozac. Just 10mg a day. The lowest dose. Here’s the wild thing: All those days and weeks when I was in the midst of the panic attacks? I remember them all being dark and dreary. (I’m sure they weren’t. There were probably plenty of beautiful fall days on my beautiful college campus.) But once I turned the page on Panic Disorder, I recall all of those days being bright and sunny.

Within a year, I was able to get a handle on my new diagnosis. I was able to get off the meds. I was able to drive 75mph on the freeway again, not terrified something was wrong with my car. I was able to sit in a movie theater again and enjoy the show. I was able to sleep. Do I still struggle? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes I go through weeks and months of anxiety spells where I have to change my lifestyle to get back on track. In fact, I recently wrote about the 5 ways I battle my panic attacks. But knowing what I’m dealing with, knowing my enemy, has empowered me. It’s allowed me to develop an arsenal of tools to take back control.

If you’re struggling with mental health, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Heck, you can DM me on 我把我的肥岳日出水来 if you need someone to talk to. Don’t deal with it alone. Mental health problems can be isolating, and staying in the dark doesn’t help.

You can also reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Their national hotline is: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

I was diagnosed with panic disorder at the age of 18.

Over the years, I’ve learned to recognize the signs of an oncoming panic attack and can usually talk myself down from one, but over the last 15 years, I’ve hit a couple of rough patches where I have a bad few weeks or months and struggle to manage the building anxiety.

These are the 5 coping strategies I find most helpful when I feel myself start to spiral:

1.) Relaxing Music

For me, I have to force my mind to stop racing. My mind works against me. I think too much. I think to the point that it impacts me physically. My heart races. My breathing gets shallow and fast. Putting on music with no words or a sound machine helps get me mentally to a place I need to be. If you have Apple Music, don’t forget that’s a great way to get access to calming music or relaxing sounds. Some of my favorites: George Nascimento’s “A Peaceful Soak” and “Distant Soft Rain” under Rain Sounds.

2.) Sleeping in the dark

For me, my panic attacks often set in at bedtime. Just thinking of the impending anxiety that bedtime will bring can get my heart rate up. You’d think TV at bedtime would take my mind off it, but instead, it keeps my mind buzzing. I’ve found turning off all the lights and creating a very calming, unplugged environment helps me find my center at night. I can mentally get to a place where I can talk myself through the attack.

3.) Aromatherapy

Make fun of the holistic approach all you want, but when your body is constantly 我把小嫩批日出水的视频 against you, you’re willing to try anything. I’ve started diffusing essential oils at night, and I find certain blends help to ground me. Lavender is usually my go to for relaxation, but I also like Young Living’s Thieves. It smells good and helps boost the immune system. I also use YL’s “Tranquil” roller every night. I rub it behind my ears and on my wrists. It helps me focus on my breathing better. If you’re interested in getting started with Young Living click here.

4.) Cutting out caffeine

I was someone who drank at least three shots of espresso a day, plus had caffeine in other forms. I’ve started cutting out caffeine, and I’ve seen a huge improvement. I’m sleeping better, I have fewer headaches, and it definitely helps make me less edgy.

5.) Recognize when you need help

When I was 18, it was awful, and it took me months to get a grip on what was happening. I went to the ER one night thinking I was having a heart attack. I was misdiagnosed with “chest wall pain.” All the signs were there. It was so clear I was suffering from Panic Disorder. After more attacks, I went to a general practitioner who diagnosed me. I started on Prozac and was on it less than a year. It helped so much. It got me back in control of my life. Fast forward to now, I’ve started spiraling again; That feeling that I’m not in control of my mind or emotions. As a mother, and a manager, I can’t afford to go down that road. So I threw in the towel and sought help again. For you, that might mean medicine, it might mean seeing a therapist, it might mean just admitting to a loved one what you’re going through. Once you know what’s going on in your mind and body, that alone may help relieve some of your anxiety, but know it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You owe it to yourself and your babies, partners, and coworkers to be the best you. If you start with this step, the others will complement the process. You can do this.